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lyrics

[our protagonist decides to take 'a long walk off a short pier,' and discovers a secret and amazing underwater world, not to mention some eccentric aquatic dwellers waiting way down, deep within the watery depths...]

today i held my breath, and took a long a walk off a short pier / bubbles up my nostrils caused a chortle as i disappeared / underwater, needless to say fully submerged / searching for a friend fervently, thus work and play merge / not a vapid mission, to be sure / a pure apparition out of nowhere approached & spoke said you bastard, listen! / i wear the crown down here, and call me self assured / but if you're happy out to sea, why pull youself ashore?! /

just then a character approached, bejewled broach & satin ascot / said pardon the indiscretion from my jackass mascot / i acquiesce at best this is no favorable impression / let us begin again, surely you have some pressing questions / "well if you have a fin, does that make your lineage part Finnish? / very much to my chagrin, he scolded "are you quite finished?!" / the grave matter at hand is the grey matter in man / not taken for granted, makes a newfangled catamaran!"/

i karate chopped his nü wave and almost shattered my hand / my bars hit, like barbiturates, or battering rams / not braggadocio, but fo’ sho, i graduated at the class top / plus i percolate a flow, with prose good down to the last drop / for an oceanic virgin sea urchin, i seemed urban / from a crevice in the coral face, a dorsal fin emergin / attached to the back of a crabby claw handed aquatic man / he stood 12 ft tall, it's the Atlantean BARbarian! /

welcome to my humble underwater domain / though not as humble as your bum chain and bumbling brain / i’m only teasing, as a means to keep your temperature from freezing / now that i got your blood boiling, know i’m only cheesin’ / if you care to follow me, then kindly paddle this way / display your breast stroke, and here’s a respirator, should your breath choke / i’d find it silly, to be killed for lack of gills / that mother nature is a hater, so cold yet no chill /

i wonder
have you ever seen such a splendid aquatic scene? / underwater life provides infinite fodder for dreams / from microscopic to majestic, from larvae to king / trillions of hidden forms of life, and i’m their father supreme / a step or two above neptune, my trident is golden / got these iced-out tips within in the grip that i’m holdin’ / emboldened as a youth, the stories told by those who would tattle / of when i called Poseidon pussy, and crab-slapped him in battle / you’ll have to pardon my impressive poise, in flexing my exploits / plus my many tentacles do tend to double as sex toys / i’ve prattled on for too long to further journey these depths / now rise, unless you fancy death, per chance to go without breath!

and there you have it, a touch of magic from the joker braggarts / underwater cloak and dagger, gentlemen who soak in swagger / bound to get you open like a overflowed & bloated bladder / son of a water gun, to know me is to know my dadda / killing is my business, corporate climbin’, most just hold the ladder / my words and balls, you get to know the first and hold the latter / stay afloat upon this oceanic flow of data / farcical aquatic ceremony's over, close the chapter.

credits

from PyraMidieval [remastered], released January 11, 2018

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joe AllOne Jersey City, New Jersey

oddballer.

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